The Naughty List

Better watch out...there are some wedding trends from 2014 trying to creep their way into 2015. We want to leave them (we didn't really like them to begin with) and break into the New Year with amazing ideas and concepts. What trends made it onto the naughty list? We asked you to write in with your thoughts and together we have listed what to avoid on your wedding day!

1. The superhero shirts. We first saw this trend make an appearance in 2013 and it was cute. Once. But once it wound up on Pinterest, suddenly everyone wanted to do it. If you're unfamiliar with the trend, it basically encompasses all of the groomsmen wearing a superhero shirt underneath their tux and the bridesmaids pulling the shirts back in a cute post-ceremony shot. It was creative and then it was done to death. We would like to see this trend stay in 2014.

2. Crop top wedding gowns. Oh. Wow. Crop tops are super popular...at the club, on the dance floor, for girl's night out, whatever. We see them on the red carpet, instagram and everywhere else. I love crop tops and I love how creative women are getting with them. Where I don't want to see them is on a bride. Maybe (and I stress that word) for a reception party gown, or for the "getaway" gown brides leave in after their reception, then it's OK. But there is this traditional side to me that says that I don't want to see your crop top walk down the aisle. If you have a fierce body, I am all about accentuating it (tastefully) and there are hundreds of other ways to do it. You might look good, it might be different, but your gown will be in 90% of your photos and 25 years from now, you want to look classic and not trendy. They didn't have puffy paint gowns in the 80s, so this shouldn't exist either. 

3. Smoke on the dance floor. Coming in on a cloud of smoke? Please don't. You're not floating or flying. It's something we see at Sweet 16s and Mitzvahs and it's fun at those parties. For your wedding there are so many ways to create a grand entrance that don't involve a fog machine. Leave this for the kids and work with your planner to create the "wow" factor without the stratus clouds.

4. Money dances. Why? Why is this still being done? We had numerous people write in saying that they attended weddings with money dances and they didn't know what was going on. This tradition started in Poland and offered the men at the wedding a chance to "pay" to dance with the bride. I am far from a hardcore feminist but even I find that a little strange. Money can be pinned to the bride's gown (do you really want your gown pinned...by people that are drinking?) or put on her veil, or in an apron...or her shoes. There are many variations depending on what country you talk to. We would like to see this all go. Weddings are expensive, people are already bringing you gifts...you're now asking for cash to be thrown at you while you dance. That's what happens at the Bachelor Party too, FYI. Odds are your guests have given you a card which might contain cash...when the money dance comes up, if they feel pressured, we have seen guests go to their cards and grab that cash to be used. We have then seen the bride freak out because there's nothing in the envelopes. Well....it's on your dress. So, let's just not do this anymore, ok?

5. Hashtag LOVE FOREVER AT THIS WEDDING. Social media has taken over. In fact, the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction, that we have many couples asking us to collect cell phones before the ceremony. They don't want pictures winding up on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or anywhere else. In fact, they've even gone so far as to hire a professional photographer to make sure they get to see images from their big day. In 2014, we worked with couples to come up with a creative hashtag so that guests posting on social media could all do so under one album. In 2015, we're hashtag over it. Include a note in your programs asking your guests to refrain from posting to social media. It's bad enough when they are in the picture that your professional photographer is taking (waving their iPhone), but it's worse when it's on a social network and being shared by someone other than the bride and groom. 

6. Mustaches. I never really understood this. Is it funny? Is it cute? It's a mustache....tied to a straw or whatever. Does it mean something? Whatever the purpose, it doesn't matter. Let's leave it in 2014 to never be seen again.

7. Ombre. Never been a fan of ombre hair, but ombre cakes, dresses, and so forth, that's a different story. It's a great way to not commit to particular colors (who wants to make a commitment on a wedding day?...pause for laughter), but everyone has figured it out. This is a trend that we really loved creating, but we're happy to say that not a single bride has mentioned it for 2015. We're hoping that it stays that way. Wishin' and a hopin'.

8. Wedding tattoos. OMG stop the madness. There is this constant pressure on brides and grooms to "entertain" their guests. You know what's entertaining? Good music, lots of dancing and an open bar. It's not a circus and you don't need "things to do" at a wedding. It's a block of hours to take shots with your friends and family and tear it up on the dance floor. However, we started seeing (and now cannot unsee) tattoo "bars" at weddings. We have seen fake tattoos like the ones you get as a 6 year old at the circus and real tattoos. Yes, real tattoos being done by a licensed tattoo artist, at a wedding. This should not be happening. It's just weird. 

Those are our (and yours) Top 8 trends that are on the naughty list! We've seen them, we've done them, and now it's time to say "Bye Felicia" to all of them.

What else would you like to see go in 2015? Share with us in the comments below!

Bachelorette Party. That'll be $2,000.

You're a bridesmaid and there are the typical expenses: your dress, your shoes, your hair and make up, throwing a shower...and now, throwing a Bachelorette Party. The concept of the Bachelorette Party is so new, that my computer literally doesn't recognize it and changes it to "Bachelor" every time I type it. But I digress...

This party is to honor the bride with the idea that it's her last "girl's night out" and that all fun will cease to exist and there will be no more excursions to strip clubs (like you were going there on the regular anyway) once she says "I do." Frequently, we assist our clients and their bridal party with planning the perfect party. Now, however, it involves travel agents and airline reservations. Furthermore, we start getting emails and phone calls from the maid of honor or any of the bridesmaids complaining about the price tag and putting us in the middle, when really, the bride, is our client. 

Frankly, my own Bachelorette Party was a small disaster and it made me happy that it was the end of my "girl's night outs" especially since I was never *that* girl to begin with. I'm more of a "lady who lunches" than a "fly to Vegas to get shitfaced" type of chick.

That's right, I said "fly". More and more I am hearing these stories about brides who are *demanding* a 3-5 day trip to somewhere warm that requires an airplane. This can be anything from the Dominican Republic to Vegas to Napa to Cancun. You know what this is also known as? Spring Fucking Break. Didn't you do that already? 

Is it clear what my opinion is on these types of trips?

When you take on the duty of being in a wedding party, you are expected to swallow the fact that you will have to pay for certain things. No, this doesn't give the bride the right to select $500 bridesmaid dresses, but you do have to expect to pay up or shut up in many circumstances.

How much though, is too much? I posted on my Facebook to get some answers from brides, their maids and just the general public. And in case there is any confusion, the vodka in NYC tastes the same as the vodka in Vegas and this woman right here is not getting on a plane to celebrate the end of your single life. Nope. Don't ask me.

Many of the people that spoke to me told me that they would be happy with a night out for dinner and dancing and yes sometimes a strip club. Others opted for a full weekend of shopping and spa treatments and yes, a hotel stay. Close to 100% wanted to book a party bus to avoid the whole "drinking and driving" stuff, which I think is the wisest investment you can make for one of these things.

Here are some quotes from brides we know:
"Do not want one, not having one, and would NEVER expect anyone to spend insane amounts of money for one!"
"And what happened to a fun night out?? Why does it have to be a whole weekend?????"
"And whether we like it or not, as brides, it is our responsibility to consider the economic situations of our bridal party members before demanding big-ass bachelorette parties, bridal showers in country clubs, or $400 bridesmaid dresses."

Here are some quotes from people we know that are going to/are invited to these parties:
"Considering on the weekend in AC (Atlantic City) a room goes for about 200-250 I'd say thats an enormous amount, even if you split that a few ways, you also have to consider the dinner, partying, and things you might buy the bride. That could run you 300 hundred easy. That's a lot of money when you can just go to dinner,or a place more local."
"My childhood friend had her whole bridal party go to Mexico for a 4day weekend. I didn't go because it was too expensive."
".....$500- $1000 pp for a weekend is just too much! After already spending close to that to be a part of the bridal party."
"I couldn't AFFORD to go to Texas for a 4 day weekend and pay for both my flight, food/drinks, hotel, AND a portion of all of that for the bride. There was no way! The way they laid it out, it was going to cost me two months' salary. I was devastated."

Then there is an opinion of a bride, now married, that had a party in sunny Key West:
"After bridesmaid indecisiveness over where to go, my girls planned a trip to Key West. Flight then 4 hour road trip to a house. It was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. Laying on the beach, scarfing down seafood, and bike riding and drinking. Besides being extremely fun, we would take different parts during the day and have serious talks about life, our past, hopes for the future. I found out things I've never known about girls that have been in my life for 10 and 20 years. It was a great bonding experience. As far as traveling, they paid for my flight, though I would have paid my way. I would do the same for any of them. We have jobs, bills, and obligations, but the fact that we were all childless is a big plus in being able to make a trip like that work."

Currently, I am inundated with emails from MOHs telling me that planning just a simple night out is not going well because people don't want to spend the money for transportation...their total bill? Around $200-$300. So, if that's too much, getting on a plane is going to be out of the question for most. 

What does all of this mean? I think a few things:

1. Plan this in advance. Yes, you should factor in the bride's opinion, but if she is expecting a full ski weekend in Switzerland, someone has to bring her back down to Earth. It's like when I have a bride that wants to get married on Memorial Day Weekend...I tell them that many people won't show up, and then *they* decide if they want to keep the date or change it. At least warn the bride of the possibilities of not only a small guest list, but a possible bitter one.

2. Factor in the lives of those being invited. Are the women attending already married? Do they already have children? How flexible is their schedule? I will say this, as a wife, mother and business owner, if I have a spare moment for a vacation (usually 1 every 3 years) it's going to be with my family, not taking body shots in Cancun off of a bride. Look at the people you are inviting.

3. What are the wedding party expenses already adding up to? Are the gowns expensive? Is this a destination wedding? What's the grand total you are asking these people to already spend before this trip? 

4. What would *you* do if you weren't the bride? Would you go on this trip? 

5. If you are invited and you do commit to going, do not be a bitter bitch and pout the entire time. This means, no bitching about the costs, what it takes to get there, trying to change plans so that the costs come down...none of that. If you say "yes" you say "yes" to it all. If you know that you can't show up without being Debbie Downer, then decline and stay home. 

6. Be realistic. If you're in the wedding party, you agreed to a magical floating contract that isn't in writing. You agreed to wear the dress you're put in and pay for it, you agreed to share bridal shower expenses if the mother isn't picking up the tab, and you agreed to a Bachelorette Party. Everyone has financial issues and obligations and the bottom line is this: if you cannot afford these things, politely decline being in the party. Nothing is worse than a MOH or bridesmaid that just doesn't show up to these events and isn't a part of them. You agreed to it, so suck it up buttercup.

What do you think? Are you a bride getting ready for her weekend away? Did you have a sick Bachelorette Party and think every bride should demand the same? We know you have an opinion, so please share in our comment section below!       



 

I'm goin' to get married, bitch!

It's official, Snooki is married. In a traditional church ceremony (we called it) and a formal non-cheetah print reception (we called that too!). Nicole and Jionni were married this past Saturday. I must have hit the "refresh" button 100 times on Sunday morning until pictures finally were posted. Much to my dismay, the only pictures anywhere to be seen were just wardrobe related. While I'm dying to see how this Gatsby-themed party actually looked, I am certainly happy to throw my two cents in about everything else.

First and foremost, can we all take a minute to applaud Nicole for not only selecting two outstanding and classy wedding designers (Eve of Milady and Ines di Santo) for her gowns, but for also putting her bridesmaids in form-fitting black dresses? A class act all of the way! I also want to say a huge "I told you so" to every planner, florist, "expert" and so forth - that had her going all "Jersey" for her style. Major kudos for not putting her bridesmaids in leopard anything. Winner.

Many brides cannot afford two gowns but we have plenty that wish they could. Clearly, Nicole wanted a gown to get married in, and a gown to party in. If you have been living under a rock, you probably didn't know that Nicole is no longer a meatball but a thin, fit and healthy woman with an outstanding body. What woman wouldn't want to show that off?

This is why we're confused that both of the dresses didn't accentuate her body.  In fact, they covered it all up. Don't get me wrong: conservative dresses are totally OK by me, but they need to fit you. The first picture I saw was Nicole in her ceremony gown and while the details were beautiful, I just shrugged my shoulders and said (outloud) "this is it?" This was what I was waiting for? It's fine and all, but it was underwhelming. The straps needed to be tighter and the waist of the gown should've been brought in at least another inch. This dress needed an alteration the week of the wedding and if it was altered, it wasn't done well.

Then I saw that she had a second gown and it was designed by Ines di Santo. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you already know that Ines di Santo is my favorite designer and I declared her the winner of Bridal Fashion Week, Spring 2015. That said, I had high hopes that Snooki's reception gown was going to stop traffic.

I was wrong.

I was so bored with this gown on her and I was really hoping that she pulled a Kim K and had a third gown lined up. The di Santo gown was in a whole different league than the ceremony gown was, but it wasn't the right gown for her AND it didn't fit. It swallowed up her tiny body and it wasn't really the party dress she described it as. Reportedly, it had a removable skirt, but there are no pictures yet to back that up. That skirt, by the way, was a drop waist and it really needed to either be pulled up or dropped altogether. I would've put her in to something more fitted, flattering and less poufy for the reception. Ines di Santo doesn't make bad gowns, this gown was just bad for her. Between the silk taffetta and the pleated skirt, this dress is not made for petite women.

Here is the gown on the runway:

The dresses were bought from the same store, and were probably altered by the same person. The bust of the reception gown was not fitted enough and you can see the gap between her skin and the dress. This is a common problem with strapless gowns and the only way to fix this is to get it altered as close to the wedding day as possible. Many brides will lose anywhere from 2-5 pounds the week of the wedding, so last minute alterations have to be done!

Her bridesmaid dresses were on point though! Black, form-fitting mermaid gowns were not only perfect for her theme, but classic and elegant. With such a huge wedding party, Nicole was smart to put her ladies in something simple so that it wasn't a hot mess of fabrics and patterns.

What else do we know? She hired a band (I LOVE that), held her reception at The Venetian in Garfield, NJ (love that too), and used a bouquet of bling (love love love) instead of traditional flowers. She also had an After Party with unhealthy fried food which is a huge trend that everyone should be doing. What we don't know is what the decor and centerpieces looked like, if she had an entrance and what the rest of the details were. This just means that this is just part one of our blog about Snooki's wedding.

Looking forward to seeing more pictures and absolutely can not wait to see the entire day unfold on the last season of 'Snooki and JWoww'.

What did you think of the dresses? Were you expecting something else? Tell us your thoughts in the comments section!