Congratulations: Kris and Wesley!

This blog post is long overdue....

Earlier this year, Rothweiler Event Design hosted New Jersey's first Same Sex Wedding Giveaway. We partnered with our favorite New Jersey venue, The Wilshire Grand (it's not a secret, we love it there) and some seriously talented and dedicated vendors to give away an all inclusive wedding valued at over $70,000. 

Late last Fall, couples were asked to submit their stories or nominate a couple that was deserving of this amazing prize. We received plenty of entries and then narrowed the field down to 10 finalists. These finalists were invited with their friends and family to celebrate New Jersey making same sex marriage legal and to find out who the winner was. On January 9, 2014, we announced Kris and Wesley as the lucky couple and the planning took off!

On July 27, 2014, Kris and Wesley had their special day. Surrounded by their closest friends and family members, their wedding was complete with love and support. We were more than excited to have Mitch Maged (aka Mitch the Minister) preside over their ceremony and announce them as husband and husband. The grooms looked stunning in wardrobe provided by Robert's Tuxedos, and the ladies were decked out in bling provided by Elizabeth John's. Live music was provided by The Smokin' Section for both the ceremony and the cocktail hour, before Ambient DJ took over and got the party started at their reception.

From the signature drink cards to the menus, escort cards and more, designs by RSVP to Me were seen everywhere and added the southern charm the grooms were looking for. Rothweiler Event Design provided the flowers and decor and used sunflowers (the grooms' request) as a base in the centerpieces. 

Even though the food was abundantly provided by The Wilshire Grand Catering, desserts were plentiful as well. Their cake was modern and fun from Confectionary Designs, and they also enjoyed a late night cupcake service from Polka Dot Cupcakes.

Above all, Kris and Wesley were all smiles the entire day. Their story won them this incredible wedding and we were ecstatic to put this together for them. We believe that love is love and celebrate everyday that New Jersey has legalized same sex marriage.

Congratulations to Kris and Wesley!

Planner and Event/Floral Design: Rothweiler Event Design
Venue: The Wilshire Grand Catering
Stationary: RSVP to Me
Officiant: Mitch the Minister
DJ: Ambient DJ
Live Music: The Smokin' Section
Men's Wardrobe: Robert's Tuxedos
Women's Jewelry: Elizabeth John's
Videography: Gabelli Studio
Cupcake Truck: Polka Dot Cupcake
Photography: Al Ojeda 
Cake: Confectionary Designs
Horse and Carriage: Dream Horse Carriage
Photobooth: Goodwin's Good Time Photobooth
Hair and Make Up: Deeva Beauty

Thank you also to Erik Kent of NJWedding.com for being the gracious media sponsor of this event!
 

Event Planner Rothweiler Event Design (Danielle Rothweiler) www.rothweilereventdesign.org

Catering and Accommodations Wilshire Grand Hotel www.thewilshiregrandhotel.com

DJ Entertainment Ambient DJ Service (Gregg Hollmann) www.ambientdj.com

Photography Al Ojeda Photography www.alojeda.com (the beautiful images in this blog are courtesy of Al Ojeda Photography - follow them on Facebook to view the complete gallery! )

Videography Gabelli Cinema www.gabellistudio.com

Photo Booth Goodwin's Goodtime Photo Booth (Gus Goodwin) www.goodwinsgoodtimephotobooth.com

Hair and Makeup Deirde Mahon from Deeva Beauty www.deevabeauty.com

Media Sponsor NJWedding.com (Erik Kent) www.njwedding.com

Invitations RSVP to Me www.rsvp-to-me.com

Ceremony Officiant Mitch the Minister www.mitchtheminister.com

Wedding Cake Confectionary Designs www.confectionarydesigns.com

Cupcake Truck Polka Dot Cupcake Shop (Little Ferry) www.polkadotcake.com (thank you for serving us a heavenly late night Red Velvet cupcake!)

Horse & Carriage Dream Horse Carriage (Tania Lawson) www.happytalespets.com/carriagerentals/

Ceremony & Cocktail Hour Music The Smokin Section www.smokinsection.com

- See more at: http://ambientdj.com/ambience-a-nj-dj-blog/305-wedding-gig-log-kris-a-wesley-the-wilshire-grand-hotel-loft.html#sthash.0e9Obuwx.dpuf 

Event Planning/Floral Design and Decor: Rothweiler Event Design, www.rothweilereventdesign.org

Event Planner Rothweiler Event Design (Danielle Rothweiler) www.rothweilereventdesign.org

Catering and Accommodations Wilshire Grand Hotel www.thewilshiregrandhotel.com

DJ Entertainment Ambient DJ Service (Gregg Hollmann) www.ambientdj.com

Photography Al Ojeda Photography www.alojeda.com (the beautiful images in this blog are courtesy of Al Ojeda Photography - follow them on Facebook to view the complete gallery! )

Videography Gabelli Cinema www.gabellistudio.com

Photo Booth Goodwin's Goodtime Photo Booth (Gus Goodwin) www.goodwinsgoodtimephotobooth.com

Hair and Makeup Deirde Mahon from Deeva Beauty www.deevabeauty.com

Media Sponsor NJWedding.com (Erik Kent) www.njwedding.com

Invitations RSVP to Me www.rsvp-to-me.com

Ceremony Officiant Mitch the Minister www.mitchtheminister.com

Wedding Cake Confectionary Designs www.confectionarydesigns.com

Cupcake Truck Polka Dot Cupcake Shop (Little Ferry) www.polkadotcake.com (thank you for serving us a heavenly late night Red Velvet cupcake!)

Horse & Carriage Dream Horse Carriage (Tania Lawson) www.happytalespets.com/carriagerentals/

Ceremony & Cocktail Hour Music The Smokin Section www.smokinsection.com

- See more at: http://ambientdj.com/ambience-a-nj-dj-blog/305-wedding-gig-log-kris-a-wesley-the-wilshire-grand-hotel-loft.html#sthash.0e9Obuwx.dpuf

20/20 Vision

"I wish I had...." said the regretful bride.

Probably one of the most painful moments I have as an event planner, is hearing the regrets of my clients that either didn't listen to my advice, or worse, listened to the advice of their friends while planning. They ignored their gut and let the outside world influence them. Only on the day of the event did they see what they should have done, and by then, it was too late. Now, they shout from the rooftops "don't do what I did!" Is anyone listening?

Hindsight is interesting. Frequently, people believe that they know what is best and there is no convincing them otherwise. You can use spreadsheets, a slideshow, puppets, it doesn't matter. It's not until something blows up in someone's face and they actually see it that they actually believe it. So I was wondering what are some of the major regrets clients had, and I caught up with my friends over at Elegant Ensembles in New Jersey. They have provided amazing live music for many events we have put together, and as an established vendor, they know what the clients "shoulda, coulda and woulda" done differently.

A whopping 72% of all brides say they would have spent more time choosing their reception entertainment. Almost 100% of brides say they would have spent more of their budget on the entertainment. 

I believe it.

I see brides spending over 50% of their budget (please refer to a previous blog where I say not to do that) on their venue and then digging for change in their couches to pay the rest of the vendors involved. 

Here's the thing about entertainment: if it sucks, so does your entire event. Empty dancefloor? No one will care about anything else. I could bring in ceiling flower installations, top caterers from across the country, vodka direct from Russia that is served by bears on little bikes and none of it will matter if the entertainment is sub-par. 

We are seeing more and more clients pick up bad talent for their entertainment. This includes radio DJs that have never performed at a wedding before and probably never ever should. A good DJ/MC combination (if you prefer to not do the band thing) is essential. You need people that will communicate with you as clients, your crowd throughout the night, and especially, your wedding planner. Too often $5 DJs are hired and make the entire event about them and their music. They ignore your timeline, forget the bouquet toss and announce the wrong people as they enter. All that matters to them is playing music. That's great, but then your caterer plates the food late (how much did you pay per plate again?), the cake doesn't get cut until everyone leaves, and your mom is making her entrance to the wrong damn song. Just say "no" to the radio DJ and those that make it about them and not about you. Because if a DJ is doing his own thing, there is little to nothing that can be done by us to fix the problem....aside from "grabbing the microphone" and "taking over" as was suggested to us to do at a wedding one time. PS- that's not our job. Nope.

Going the band route? Awesome. There are so many to choose from and we recommend meeting with them and hearing samples, live if possible. The amount of bad music and really bad pitchy singing that is out there is extraordinary. Don't have a great ear for this type of stuff? Bring someone with you that does and ask that person to be honest. You do not need some Christina Aguilera wanna-be riffing flat notes all night. 

Finally, with any music, this is not where you cut your budget (go after that 250 person guest list instead). Bad music=bad event. There is no way around it. Always ask your planner for their recommendations because they will be working with them to time the entire event. 

When asked, 81% of guests say the thing the remember most about a wedding is the entertainment.

Don't be a hindsight disaster. Kick "shoulda, coulda, woulda" to the curb.

Thanks to Elegant Ensembles for providing the statistics! Check out their website for your music needs: http://www.elegantensembles.com/

Cheers and Jeers

Ah, the wedding toast.....s.  Do you take the sentimental route and pray that you have everyone crying? Do you play stand up comedian and hope for roaring laughter? Do you go up to the microphone with your i(way too big to be holding and you look ridiculous)Pad in front of your face the entire time?

Toasts are interesting at any type of event. They should be reserved for the person (notice how I said "person" and not "people") closest to you that speaks the most eloquently. The person that will not be too wasted to speak. The person that will not reveal secrets that you thought were, ya know, secret. This person could be a parent, best friend, best man, uncle, sister, brother, college roomate...that's right, there are no rules so you do not have to feel obligated to let Cousin Kenny rattle off for hours just because you two grew up together. 

As a planner, I am frequently asked to review toasts ahead of time. I'm happy to edit them and give commentary, but 9 times out of 10, if they needed reviewing, the toaster is going to ignore every last word of advice that I give. I have heard it all and while you are probably reading this thinking "that isn't going to happen to me", trust me, it can and it very well might.

Example of an actual conversation I had:

DJ: Hey, I was handed this (shows me $20) by some guy that wants to give a toast when everyone is done.
Me: Absolutely not. There are already too many toasts and if the couple wanted to hear this person, they wouldn't be bribing you to speak. 
***15 minutes later***
DJ: I'd like to welcome (name of person that bribed the DJ $20 to speak) up to the microphone.

Know what happened? That person embarrassed not just the bride but plenty of other people. There were details that were told that should only be shared on an episode of "Maury". Now, the DJ...he's another story (and had never done a wedding before), but it was an impossible situation and unless someone was going to tackle the microphone from this guy (that's not our job by the way), he was going to finish his speech.

Frequently people get nervous when a microphone is in their face and they will make jokes to ease the situation. If they are funny, then great.  It is your job to select a person that has a certain level of wit that they will still be able to use while under the pressure of delivering a toast at your wedding.

Another issue? Most times, the toast is too damn long. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have wanted to cue the musicians to start playing (ala any awards show) and have the speaker escorted off the stage. A toast needs to be practiced in front of other people who will give their honest opinions. 

Which brings me to another point: a toast cannot be written on the same day of the event. If you are giving a toast, please respect that honor by taking time to put it together. It is highly unlikely that the vows are written on the day of, and your toast shouldn't be either. In fact, your first draft should never be your last draft. 

Please do not bring your iPad up with you. In fact, write your speech on an index card (one side) and bring that up with you. You do not need to memorize anything and you will feel more comfortable with the paper in your hand, even if you never look at it.

Ironically, one of the best toasts I have ever seen was performed (yes, performed) by the bride's sisters. It was around 4 minutes in length and was funny, thoughtful and clearly took at least a month's worth of work. Everyone was in awe, laughing and crying. It was perfect. Of course, this is an exception to the time limit suggestion, but when you work on a toast like they did, time didn't matter.

Toasts should be done early in the evening so that the party can get started and so that the toaster can have a few more cocktails. I have been approached by many a maid of honor asking when her toast was, and I had to tell her "not until the cake cutting".....the response is always the same, "well, if I'm sober enough by then."

Finally, when deciding whom to ask to give a toast, make sure you are giving that person enough time. 2 months prior to the event is the minimum amount of time a person will need to really put together something thoughtful.

Of course, make sure that your caterer has your glasses of champagne filled up when the toast is ready to go! 

Good luck and cheers!

Do not spend your entire budget on the venue. Don't do it.

50%

See that number?

That is the amount of your budget that you are allowed to spend on your venue. Not 51%.

In party planning, we often see our clients (and the clients that no longer have the budget to afford a party planner....or anything else) get remorseful when they realize that they have spent over 50% of their budget on the venue. Foolishly thinking that they will be able to cut back on literally everything else, the client puts down the deposit for the venue in which 4-5 hours of the entire day will take place. 

Then they travel from vendor to vendor (including party planners aka us) and have that "uh-oh" moment. It goes like this:

"Uh-oh, everything costs HOW much??"

Yup.

Now, you have this beautiful venue, congrats. How do you pay to decorate it? What money are you using to take photographs and video of it? Will you be robbing a bank to afford a planner to come in and find everything for you at rock bottom costs because you just spent everything you had on a room to dance in? Who is available at the lowest cost to provide said music to dance to?

We know planning a party is exciting. That's why we do what we do. However, you have to take a minute and come back down to planet Earth. After the initial "OMG yay, it's time to pick a date and plan a party and pin absolutely everything ever", take a breath and lay out your budget.

$100,000 total to spend? Great, your venue sees $50k or less. NOT A PENNY MORE. You will be very surprised to find out what everything costs, and that natural high you were just on will fade quickly and the planing process will become very stressful. 

While I would prefer to be the first stop on the planning express (aka: come see me before you select a venue please), that isn't always the case. Frequently, a client will come to my office and reveal where their party is taking place. Odds are, I will know what the venue costs, and I will want to discuss your overall budget and what your vision is for the day. It will boggle my mind (and the photographers/bands/djs/florists/etc. you're interviewing) if you try to nickle and dime and imply that my pricing is out of your budget. You know what is out of your budget? Your venue.

You have now spent yourself right out of those top notch vendors that you probably wanted. 

Uh-oh. All aboard the train to "have to settle-ville".

We do not believe that a party should throw anyone into debt. You should put together a budget and stick with it. That said, if you have 50% of your budget to spend on everything else once your venue is selected, you have a very good shot at getting those vendors that you want for party day. You have a chance of even having some money left over which you can then put back into your venue or caterer for that all sushi and seafood hour you originally didn't pay for.

The easiest way to do this (besides coming directly to my office when you're ready to get started) is to figure out your budget, cut the number in half, and figure out what the "per person" cost will be. Do not step foot into venues that are over that per person rate and make sure you have factored in tax and service (that's 7% and 20-22% in New Jersey) for your final number. 

Hint hint: I know what venues are $90 per person and what venues are $300 per person. Just like I won't allow my brides to try on dresses that are outside of their budget, I will not recommend a venue that they cannot afford either. That's just mean.

So there you have it. 50% is your magical number. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Say "yes" to the dress, and "no" to the entourage

Over the years one of the most common frustrations that our brides have, is listening to the opinions of her bridal party. When planning a wedding, almost everyone feels they have a right to throw in their two cents (even when they aren't literally throwing in any cents) and most think they are being "helpful". Message to those people: you're not being helpful and you're probably stressing the bride out. Stand aside, smile, and read on. Oh, and if you're that bride that doesn't want to hurt the feelings of others, and thus brings 97 people with her to the dress shop, this blog is also dedicated to you.

Recently, I have heard more and more complaints from brides (and even some of their grooms) about how their sister, mother, BFF, and every person wearing a dress in their party, is driving them nuts. They know this going into the planning process, and yet, they bring all of these people with them to 2 appointments: their wedding gown search and their bridesmaid gown search. Leave these people at home.

First and foremost, the dress shops hate entourages. You know why? They slow down the appointment, they take attention away from you, and they typically result in the bride leaving sans dress plus tears. I'm not saying that you need to dismiss what your loved ones think you should wear down the aisle, but I caution you that everyone (except for your planner....hi) has an ulterior motive. It could be as basic as your sister doesn't like that you always look hotter/thinner/sexier/younger/better than her in everything, and now a white gown will really emphasize that. Yes, that's right, jealousy plays a big part in dress selection and do not tell me otherwise. When shopping for your gown, keep your group small (under 3 people) and make sure they are people that know when to say something and when to shut up. If you say that you love the dress and they don't say that they love it too, you need them to exit stage left because that negativity will follow you for the rest of the planning process. Hear that bridesmaids? She loves it, then you love it. So easy.

Let's say though, that you're that bride that has the bestest friends ever in the whole wide world that only ever want the bestest for you. Do not bring all 19 of them with you to the appointment because as much as they might love you, unless they are stepford wives with the completely same wardrobe, they will never agree on *the* dress for you. What good does it do you to hear all of those different opinions? You know which opinion matters? Yours. 

Of course, when picking out the bridal party wardrobe, it used to be that the bride would select a gown and then her maids would go get measured and that would be it. There's was no input and guess what...they still had to pay for the dress! When you accept to be in a bridal party you are accepting the price tag and obligations that go along with it. Note: that does not give the bride the right to nothing but $500 unflattering gown choices. 

Now, however, brides are bringing their entire bridal party with them to try on dresses. This makes sense if you have all different body types and want to see what looks best on everyone. However, I will warn you about that friend that hates everything, and that friend that hates everything *except* the one dress that everyone else hates. You must be prepared to draw the line. Solution? Select a few dresses on your own or with your maid of honor by your side. Come back to the salon with only those dresses available to try on. Do not allow your maids to ransack the racks looking for something else. This is not only bad form and the store will be rightfully upset, but it's unnecessary. 

With being a bride comes making decisions and standing firm. It's polite to listen to what others have to say, but you will always have to know when to put them on mute. If you don't, your planning process will be painful and you'll be showing future brides this blog after you're married. 

And for the bridesmaids that are reading this: it's not your wedding. When you have your day, then fine. If you had your day already, then you should understand. But it's her day, and unless she looks like she could have her own episode on Bridezillas, then you need to show support and love....and smile like you mean it.

Yes, hire a videographer.

I hear a lot of event planners telling their clients, and just telling people in general, that the best way to save money on your event is to cut the videographer. To those planners, I say this: stop talking. Videography is essential to every single party in your life. It is not what you cut to save money (take a whack at your guest list first) and I'm going to tell you why.


First and foremost, a videographer/cinematographer can capture moments that the photographers simply can't capture. From those little moments that you miss because you can't be everywhere, to the way your dress moves as you walk down the aisle. Photography is great, but videography fills in the gaps that it misses.

I hear, all the time, "when am I ever going to watch this?" When? Awesome, I'm glad you asked. I don't know. But what I do know, if after that initial "watch it immediately and show it to everyone you love" the DVD will wind up on a shelf. There is no telling the next time that you will want to watch it. But here are some likely scenarios:

1. An anniversary where you want to relive those vows and first dance.
2. Time with a family member or a friend that wasn't able to make it, but wants to see the video.
3. When your kids want to see how silly mommy and daddy looked on their wedding that was "forever" ago.
4. On a snowy night when you don't want to leave the house but would prefer to cuddle up with your spouse.
5. A rough patch when you're at each other's throats and need to remember that love that you had and still have.
6. When you want to show off how fabulous everyone looked and what a great time everyone had.
7. Just because.

There is no replacing videography. It is not what you cut from your wedding wish list in order to save money. 300 guests isn't necessary, but videography is. And no, someone taking video with their iPhone isn't a substitute (save that for Friday night happy hour) for video...or for photos for that matter.

Don't believe us? Check out this amazing short clip that we worked on with Gabelli Studio. Then tell me that you don't want something just like it. 

http://www.gabellicinema.com/

You're welcome.

The Bloom is Off the Rose

One of the appointments that we accompany our clients to is the florist appointment. We see a lot of people struggle to convey their vision for flowers on the big day, so we act as the translator and offer up some ideas of our own. It's also important for us to be there because the florist will ask questions that our clients might not know the answer to. And hey, we love to play with flowers and get creative, so that's a bonus. 

We work with some of the best florists in the world. Thankfully, we are in an area with florists are at the top of their game and there is a "right one" out there for every client. We believe in having a good energy vibe with all vendors, but especially with those that will be responsible for carrying out your vision. Recently, we got stuck by a thorn.

Sometimes our events take us into brand new areas, which means working with brand new people. In one recent case, that meant using a florist we have never worked with before. Scary, but that's how you meet new talent! 

Getting a date on the calendar where we could be there at the same time as our clients and the florist, was no easy task. It took awhile but we finally came together on the date. The florist was very close to the venue, so for myself and for my clients, that meant a one way 1.5-2 hour drive. With our appointment booked for 12pm, we were set.

Except at 9:43am, I received an email (not a phone call, an email) from the florist saying that she would not be there, but someone else would be taking care of us. 

That. Is. Unacceptable. Why? Because we have been working extensively with one person and it took forever and a year to get a date on the calendar that we all could agree to. But now, it's too late because I knew my clients were already on their way out there and I wasn't far behind. 

I have a rule: if it doesn't bother my clients, it doesn't bother me. I probably will deal with it after the event or never work with that person again, but I can bite my tongue in the meantime. 

We show up and needless to say, my clients are not happy. Their disappointment is not just from finding out that the person that committed to the appointment is not here, but that the person in her place had no idea what was going on and simply responded that she would have to ask the person we were supposed to meet with.

Well, then why are we even here?

In case you're wondering, there was no emergency keeping the florist away, she just made other plans. Seriously. That's what happened.

After we walked outside, my clients really expressed to me how unhappy they were and how they pretty much killed their day for nothing. They asked if I could work something out and of course, I was happy to.

Composing my thoughts in an email, I politely explained why this was disappointing and how a phone call would've been the way to go. I expected to get something, anything in return. An apology, an offer for a complimentary bouquet, whatever.

What I got, was this: "Clearly this location is too far for you, so maybe you should just select another florist."

Yes. That was the response. 

The bottom line is this: If you say you're going to be at an appointment, you need to be at that appointment. If you're sending in your understudy, you need to pick up the phone with some advance notice. An email 15 minutes before we begin the journey is not acceptable. It's just not. 

Needless to say, I found us another florist. With better pricing, better flowers and a better attitude. 

There are some weeds out there. We're armed with weed killer.

Photo: Rockandrollbride.com